Tomorrow will be 1 year from my "discovery" of the lump and next Friday will be 1 year from the day I was told that I had cancer.  Where does the time go?

This year has been full of ups and downs.  Just this morning I woke up with a fever and hard time breathing - and now I sit here writing with my breathing under control and only mild chest pain. I never know what the next day- or next hour- has in store!  Thank goodness for Todd keeping my chin up!  I don't know where he gets all his positive energy-as I think I would've drained him by now!  He helps to make me smile when I feel like there's nothing to smile about... when in fact- there is plenty to smile about!

I've been back to Hooksett to NH Oncology for my chemo treatments every Monday.  I've been there the past two weeks- and its good to be back in NH for treatment.  Not only because of the 30 minute ride rather than the sometimes 2 hour ride, but because the nurses and my doctor know me here.  My nurse Whitney at the DF was an absolute dream!  She would do everything she could to keep my veins from closing up on her while she gave me my treatments.  I was sad to leave her- but gave her a big hug at my last treatment down there.

I am back up in Hooksett- and my doctor will correspond with my doctor at the DF on treatments going forward.  I am scheduled for my next scan in September- just days before my 29th birthday!  When did that happen?! Again- time goes by so fast!

I've been doing well on the Navelbine & Avastin.  There haven't been any real side affects to speak about.  My breathing seems to go up and down and we think anxiety and asthmatic events may have something to do with it.  My lungs sound great- from what I've been told.  I went to see my girls at Wright & Associates in Amherst today and they had me breathe thru a nebulizer (sp?) - which seemed to have worked.  I am able to get deeper breaths before my coughing or tickle in my throat sets in.  We'll try that at night & morning- as well as an inhaler if needed throughout the day.  I'm hoping this will help to open up my lungs so that I can have a better chance at exercising and speaking for long periods of time.  Last night we took an almost 2 mile walk around town.  It was nice to get out and exercise... but I had trouble breathing later in the evening.
And as for the chest pain- it has gotten better since I started chemo!  I do have good days and bad days... or I should say good hours and bad hours- because things seem to change so quickly!

All week I didn't take anything so much as a tylenol- but by Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday- i had to take the big guns as the chest pain wouldn't quit.  By Monday- it had lessened.  So... who knows...

I also started Xometa (sp?) 3 treatments ago - to help with my bones.  It was confirmed that the cancer is around my sternum - so I was given this drug to help keep my bones in check.  The day after I took it- I had aches and pains and a temp much higher than this morning.  That was a bit scary- but we know whats to be expected.

I had a surgery a couple weeks ago too- to put my port back in  my chest.  I had had an anxiety attack the day before b/c I was so nervous about my breathing under anesthesia.  The morning of my surgery I was going better... but quiet.  I was not nervous about my surgeon's technique- she has done nothing but take great care of me- it was my concerns about breathing and being able to lie flat during surgery.  To compound the problem- they couldn't get my iv going in my arm or hand.  I figured they'd get it- but after numerous tries- they decided that I should be put under with gas and then they'd try an iv again.  I cried... yup... I did.  I was so nervous to begin with- over this little surgery that I had had before.  They told me I could see everything in the operating room... but I insisted that I didnt want to know what went on in there.  They wheeled me in there- I had to get onto the bed while they put a mask over my face and had me breathe deep long breaths- that I coughed in between, while they stuck heart monitor things to my sides and back and chest, and pulled my arms out straight and my legs out straight.  I slowly drifted off to gosh knows where- and I can't say that that is a comforting feeling.  I like the loopy feeling you get when they put the iv in you.  This was different b/c with ever breath I took- I went deeper into unconsciousness. 

When I awoke - it was the same tale.  Your mind wakes up before anything else.. and you move a finger or a foot to let the nurse know that you're there- and awake!  The surgery went perfectly fine- and the port is where it was before- only this time- still moves around a bit as it hasn't gotten settled yet.

Three days after my surgery- I went to take my bra off and it was stuck to something on my back.  THREE DAYS LATER - I still had one of those darn heart monitor things stuck to my back!  Through numerous showers and changings - neither Todd nor I had found the darn thing! Can't say that they feel any better being wripped off 3 days later :)!

So am doing good ... am anxious to get better - faster!  This is a long process and is hard for me to think back to where I was last year.  Last year i was just discovering this... and was in the best shape of my life!  This year- I am still battling this disease- and will continue to do so!  I am determined to walk the Making Strides walk in Manchester this year! I might be a little slower- but I will be walking it!