April 8, 2004

Shame on me!  Mom took me to my 3rd treatment yesterday and I didn't take any pictures!  Sorry Mom!

The treatment went fine but I still have this darn cold so it's hitting me a little harder than last time.  Hopefully the next few days will prove to be OK.  I am on an antibiotic (again) and I'm sure that will help.  The good news is I'm half way home!!!  Three more to go and then I'm all done that phase. Yeeha!

Emotionally I've been doing OK, but a bit more down than usual.  I just really don't want to do this anymore - I want to be normal again (well, OK, I've never been "normal" but you know what I mean).  I don't want people to worry about me anymore, or feel sad for me.  I know that's impossible - even I feel sad for me some days - and I am so blessed to have so much love being sent my way!  But I just don't feel like me right now and I miss me!

My dear friend Cheryl called me Tuesday night to see if I wanted to go out to karaoke with her and Jetta - an invitation I would have snapped up in a heartbeat under any other circumstances!  But because I have a cold and it was the day before my next treatment, I had to say no.  I cried (thanks for the shoulder Cheryl).  And I'm putting on weight - what's up with that!  A big part of that is the lack of exercise because I had a cold all the time, but I know I'll be able to fix that once it (stays) warm long enough to get the bike out.

OK - so not the most positive chapter but an honest one (as usual).  Once I get rid of this awful case of the fuck-its ... it'll be smooth sailing!  ;>)