Well, I wish I could say things were getting better, but apparently that is not the case.  My mornings continue to be a huge chore and it takes nearly 2-3 hours before I am feeling/breathing well enough to want to get out of bed and get started.  Todd does his absolute best, telling me to take deeper breaths, drink my carnation instant breakfast, or drink more water.  He will make an excellent father someday!  This morning I had a breakdown.  My legs aches, my stomach hurt and felt nauseaus, my chest hurt, and my back hurt from the sleeping position I was in.  I just lost it.  I didn't want to hear "drink more of that" or "sit up straight so you can get deep breaths".  I pleaded with Todd to go back to work and leave me alone.  He did, quietly- blowing me a kiss from the doorway.  He came back not even an hour later and I apologized for my breakdown.  He told me that I didn't have to apologize- I was entitled.  I'm not entitled to get angry with him... it was more anger with myself - and that I have to go thru this- and continue to put this poor man thru it.
But let me tell you about Todd.  I've been not able to eat anything- and slowly its getting worse and worse.  I have resulted to Carnation Instant Breakfast to get more calories in me in between snacks.  The other night he went to the store to get me tissues (I went thru 3 boxes of Puffs Plus- blowing my nose and loogie catchin'...mmmmm....).  I forget what else I absolutely needed and he what I thought- begrudgingly went to the store to get them for me.  It was later in the evening- and I know how much he has to get done at work (yes- he works late hours there too) and at home here with the house.  He came back home with a huge smile on his face.  As my friend called - Todd peeked out of the kitchen and showed me his buys.  A box of Oreos, a box of mint chocolate covered Oreos, Chocolate Chip cookies and 4 things of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream.  Then the one favorite cookie that I love the most....Mint Milano Cookies- he knew for sure I'd eat these.  Which I did that night - 1.  I'm not sure if he bought these things all for me to get calories in me- or if they were an "excuse" for him - hee hee.  Anyway... thats my husband for you.  He's on his want to get me a salad right now... which honestly - I hope I can stomach.
We went to chemo on Monday and the port worked perfectly fine!  The nurse had me turn my head and then said to me "oh it moved" oh geez I'm thinkin'.  Then she says "DON'T MOVE!". This scared the crud out of me.  I asked if everything was okay?!?! She said yes- she was getting a perfect blood return.  I told her not to scare me like that again!  We went in to see Dr Crow with Todd and my mom in tow.  My chemo wasn't working.  He can tell by the way I'm feeling and said that he wished I felt better.  He also shared with us that my tumor markers were at 9 in June, 30 in August and now at 62 in October.  So... its not working.  I was deeply upset.  But there are still some other chemo drugs to try.  He suggested changing the Navelbine to Taxotere and leaving the Avastin the same.  He will discuss this with Dr Partridge down at Dana Farber and consult with her and her coleagues.  I told him I don't want to go back down there.  I had way too much anxiety.  He said that whatever can be done down there can be done up here - so that comforted me.  I actually began to cry when he mentioned the Dana Farber.  Don't get me wrong- they're a wonderful facility- but its hard when you've established relationships with all your doctors in NH... and other reasons to which I will not discuss.
So no chemo this week.  Giving my body a chance to heal and get strong for the new chemo.  I also got my flu shot too...gosh knows getting the flu on top of not being able to breath would be a huge crisis!
I'm still waiting to hear back from  my pulmonogist about his thoughts on my lung situation and what to do about the fluid.  He was to call me back by Tuesday... still waiting.  And I went to see a neurologist last week who was convinced to have me do a brain mri because of my optical migraines- which have started to come back more.  For a while I'd get 1 a week- if that... now its more like 2 or 3....stress.  Plus i have these bumps on my head that keep getting bigger - I have like 7 of them now.  They could be cancer... they could be sebacious cysts... who knows.  They don't hurt- but one is pretty big.  We joked with Dr Crow about its size.  He said we might have to put a little hat on it - ha!  I like to keep a sense of humor thru all this.  Laughing helps - tremendously.  Just have to find something to laugh about.
Thats why I like to visit Wendy's office and visit with the Becky's - they make me laugh.  We talk about... well - I'll leave that for the waiting room discussion only- ha!
So,... wish I could eat... wish I could breathe...wish I didn't have cancer..... still working on it!

Here is a picture of the group from the walk (some are missing as they did the 5 mi when we all did the 3 mi - they weren't back yet :(, and it was taken after the walk- so some people had left prior to the walk :(. )

Our Team T-shirts
(Front)

Our Team T-shirts
(Back)

These shirts were
designed by one of
my customers at work-
Heather Bredbury of
Infusion Studios.
The shirts were donated
thru our wearables
vendors and the
printing was donated
by my screen printer.
Thank you all!!!!  The
shirts were AWESOME!