¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:    ²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;    ³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;    ⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance….Ecclesiastes 3: 1 -4 

As I remember Ms. Mary Eliza Watson

December 8, 2007 – Approximately fifteen hundred miles from home, I lie in a hotel bed, alone, tossing and turning.  “Why can’t I get some sleep?”  I thought.  The hours and day passed.  3:37 am….still no rest.  The phone rings.  It is 4:29 am.  My cousin Kim is on the line and she is inaudible.  She’s crying and screaming.  I’m very alert.  “What?  Who is this?  I can’t understand what you’re saying!”  She continues to try to tell me something, but our connection is not good.  (Stay calm Ronnetta….listen carefully before you respond.)  My mama gets on the phone and tells me that my grandmother has died.  She knew I was out of town and didn’t want me to worry since I was alone.  Huh?  “Where is she?  Where was she?  What happened?  Was she not feeling well?  Where are you all?  What time did this all happen?”  Was this a dream or rather a nightmare?  Not hardly.  My dear grandmother…..the one who taught me, molded me, disciplined me, encouraged me, laughed with me, cooked for me, sang to me, understood me……..LOVED ME had made her transition.  Oh Granny!!!!!!  

I hang up the phone and call Gerald to give him the news.  I get down on my knees and start to pray.  I thanked God for my grandmother and her life and just for her being a part of my life….how she gave selflessly of herself to me and us all, how so much of the person I am has been influenced by her.  Tears started to fall and I started to wail uncontrollably.   This can not be happening!  Feelings of pity overtook me.  I felt like my guts were stolen from me.  What is going on????  How much can a girl child take?  I calm down and sit up and just start remembering my granny.  I’m fine for a few minutes and then I began to wail again.  I was not ok.  As the sun rose, I realized that I was exhausted.  My energy level was zero and I was starving, but had no appetite. 

I clean myself up and go downstairs to the hotel restaurant and order breakfast, with the thought that if I ate something, I’d feel better.  Not so.  I picked at my food and started to think about my grandmother again.  The tears came.  I let them.  I felt like a little girl lost in a big city.  I had no one there to talk to and I needed to cry on someone’s shoulder.  I needed a hug.  I go back up to my room….nah….sitting in here all day is not gonna work. 

I leave and catch the subway to NYC.  Once I get there, I walk around just remembering my granny.  I started to feel better as I reminisced in my mind.  I remembered how we celebrated her life just a couple of weeks ago on Thanksgiving….laughing as stories were told about her….I remembered her infectious laugh….how hearty!  I remembered how strong she was…..she never seemed to be afraid……I remember how when granny spoke, that was it…..it was done.  I remembered her fussing about me putting something on my arms or just recently telling me to put something on my head when she saw me bald so that I wouldn’t “catch a cold”.  I thought about my mama, my aunts and uncles, my cousins and all the times granny came to our rescue or had to punish us for not doing what we were supposed to do……I laughed and I cried and I could feel my tears stick to my face. 

As I continued to walk, I started to notice how cold it was.  My fingers and face were freezing as I strolled from block to block.  It was only once I started to feel my knees wobble that I realized I had walked for several hours and for more than 40 blocks.  My body was tired and my legs were sore.   I was hungry and I still had to get back to the hotel so that I could perhaps get some rest.  I was scheduled for a workshop the next day and I didn’t think I’d be any good.  The walking did help and for a minute I was glad I was alone…..just me and my granny. 

What does “The Fall of Freddie the Leaf” have to do with any of this?  Well, this is a story (book) by Leo Buscaglia.  It is a book that I’ve shared with friends dealing with death who have small children.  I require my girls to read to me each day and just about a week and a half ago, my girls chose this book and we talked about it.  Who woulda thought that I’d be revisiting this story so soon?!  It’s a very simple story about a leaf on a tree coming to terms with the change in seasons and death.  As I walked the streets of New York, I thought about the story of Freddie the Leaf as I thought about my grandmother.  Her time had come.  We watched her over the years, as her seasons changed.  She’d served her purpose and what an awesome job she’s done.  Yes, we will miss her physical presence, but we have memories of her that remain with us.  I imagine that when her time was nigh as she acknowledged our Lord that she couldn’t and didn’t resist when He told her to come HOME.   She went quietly......  Ahhhhh…… 

To: James, Elaine, mama, Stanley & Wonder – I love you all

To:  Shon, Roderick, Kim, Andre, Clyde, Claudia, Jay, Jeffrey, James, Darius & Ariel and to all the great grandchildren….Diamond, Aujanae, Germayne, Joseph, Kiara, Jayme, Desmond, Xavion, Nicholas & Jaysen - we were all “Granny’s babies” and we each had our own special relationships with her

Let’s cry if we have to, express as we need to and continue to LOVE as we must do!

I, you, we, us – we’ll be just fine. 

Written with you on my mind, as love gushes from my pores for each of you,

Netta     

December 12, 2007