Thank you.  You've been especially kind to me. 

I'm back.

December 17, 2007 - Funny story.  Wig #1 had been feeling kinda weird on my head lately, so I decided to take it back to the wig shop where I'd purchased it to get it trimmed.  So, I took it back and tell the store owner that something was odd about the wig and that perhaps I needed to get it trimmed and she comes over to me and asks me if she could take a look.  She then turned the wig around on my head and told me that I'd been wearing it the wrong way.  Immediately, the wig looked and felt so much better!  How come yall didn't tell me that I was wearing my wig crooked??!!!

Round Two went well and I am now starting Round Three.  I do have a couple of things going on with me that are related to my treatments.....  ^1.My menses have stopped.  Uh oh....no....the expression is actually......YEA!  (Don't know if it's temporary or permanent yet, but I'm ok with it.)  The other thing is.....brace yourself......ok......here goes......^2.I have been severely CONSTIPATED!  At first, I wasn't sure if it was just me.....cause they told me that I'd probably have loose stools (I know this is a bit much, so bear with me); never did they mention constipation, so I tried to deal with it.  It started right after my very first treatment.  Yea, I hear you......uhm hmmn - water is my beverage of choice and it didn't matter how many leafy green vegetables and nuts and berries I consumed, this was the kind that was leafy green vegetable and nuts and berry resistant.  REALLY. Soooo, to those of you who are praying for and with me.....will you pray for things to go smoothly for me?  Overall, I'm still feeling well.....some days I do feel more tired than others, but it's manageable.  

I went to have my blood tested and in addition to my white blood cell level being low, my red blood cell level was also low.  (Surely BOTH of those syringes are not for me!) Soooo, I had to get two injections....Neupogen for the white and Procrit to stimulate the red.  (Uhm....no, I don't want to inject myself today, thank you.  You can show me how to do it on Thursday.) I took the Neupogen in my arm and the Procrit in my belly.  Ouch....this Procrit STINGS!!!!!  Of course I have to return on tomorrow....

December 18, 2007 - My levels were ok today.

December 29, 2007 - My treatments on the 20th and 27th went as expected.  I'm usually not in a rush to do much, but I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY TREATMENTS TO BE OVER!!!!  Yup....I'm losing my patience.  After my treatment on the 20th, I started to feel physically "blah".  I've begun to experience classic symptoms of early pregnancy.....only I'm not pregnant.  My appetite is distorted and most foods taste bland.  Everything smells extreme and almost sickening.  I'm kinda nauseated, but not really nauseated.  So weird.  I'm desiring ice cream.....  Yes, I can't wait for this to pass.

When I arrived for my treatment on December 20th, the nurse told me that my Neupogen injections were ready for me to take with me so that I could administer it myself.  "I'm sorry, sir, but did you say injections with an 's'?"  "Yes," he replied.  "There are four syringes and you will need to give yourself one injection a day for four days."  What?!  I wasn't expecting this.  "Uhm....I thought we agreed that I would only have to do ONE injection."  "Yea, but your insurance....."  "Ahhh, say no more."  I don't even wanna talk about insurance right now, so I'm gonna leave it alone.  I took my four Neupogen filled syringes and tried to think about how I was actually gonna do this four days in a row.  I'm sure you probably think it's no big deal, but this was major for me.  As I prepared to leave the state, I get pass airport security with no problem as far as the syringes were concerned, but they did stop me for some lotion I had in my bag.....  (You know that lotion is really a threat....could probably cause someone to slip and fall if it's spilled, I'm sure,  but those drug filled syringes, well, of course that's harmless! This is crazy!)   Anyway, my anxiety was high the closer it came for me to get the injections.  Gerald agreed to give them to me and I think in some odd way he actually enjoyed sticking me.  He gave me the first three injections and I gave myself the fourth one....not that I had anything to prove to myself....I just couldn't NOT try, although I really didn't think I could do it myself.  While getting the injections is not something I'd wanna get used to, it wasn't so bad.  When I returned on the 27th and my blood levels were tested before my treatment, my white blood levels were off of the charts......no need for me to return until my treatment on January 3, 2008.  YEA!

One more thing....I think my hair is growing back.  I'm not sure if it's done falling out, but I've noticed that I have the "fuzzies".....looks like millions of 'cilia' (I think that's the word I want) all over my head.  I don't know if I should shave my head again or just let it be.  Also, I haven't forgotten to post the pictures of my baldness, but wouldn't you know it....every time I try to download the pictures, I get an error message and I haven't taken the time to figure out what I'm doing wrong, but I'll do it soon.

January 3, 2008 - Mr. Neupogen (the drug that is) was waiting for me today when I arrived for my treatment.  (After giving myself the injection last week in my stomach, it was actually easy for me to get it there again today without any flinching.  Yes, believe it!)  My white blood cell count was too low for me to receive chemo (perhaps I SHOULD have come in for testing on Monday), so I have to return on tomorrow for testing again and hopefully, my levels will be within some normal range for me to get my last treatment in Round Three.  My girls came with us today cause they've been curious about how I actually receive chemo and although we were in a private room, it was kinda like 'romper room'.  I'm not so sure they or I would have enjoyed the full experience had we stayed the entire day, so it all worked out.  My only concern was the potential delay resulting from my not getting the treatment today.  I know....I shouldn't be rushing this and I generally try to cherish my experiences, but uhm...you know what I mean.  Here's a picture we took today - me and my girls.  (Ok, just so you know that I haven't lost it all, as I look at this picture and think of you, I'm sure you're thinking that you don't see any hair on my head, but take another look.....it's REALLY there.   So funny.) 

January 10, 2008 - I was able to receive my treatment on last Friday (January 4) after my white blood cell level increased, so there’s no delay in my schedule for completion.  YEA!

This week has been interesting.  I think that the Neupogen drug likes me.  He’s kinda buggin me though. Kinda like several years ago before marriage, caller id and cell phones were the norm, when a guy likes you and you’re really annoyed by him, but he always calls you (cause you gave him your “real” phone number) or he appears unexpectedly wherever you are and you want to tell him off, only that’s not really how you’d like to get rid of him, so you quietly ignore him, with hopes that he'd go away..….that’s how I’m beginning to feel about these Neupogen injections.  It bugs the crap outta me!  (Not really, but really)

Anyway, I went on Monday, January 7 to have my blood checked and my white blood levels were low of course…1.1….no big deal.  (Every Monday since I’ve started my treatments they’ve been this way.  The average range for a person not being treated with chemo is about 4.1 – 10.9 {I don’t know what the measurement guide is, I just know the numbers}; for a person being treated with chemo – the levels vary of course, but I think 2.5 is reasonable. To give you an idea, each Monday that I've been tested, my levels may have been around 1.5 or slightly higher or lower and after receiving an injection, they would jump to 7.1 or 9 or so.  When I returned over the Christmas holiday after giving myself the injections, my levels were at 15.)  So, I got my Neupogen injection and later that night took my Levaquin antibiotic.   I returned on Tuesday to have my levels checked again and the nurse and I were talking and he asked me if I had experienced any bone pain and we were joking cause he was telling me that one sign that the Neupogen was working is bone pain.  “Ha ha,” I laughed, “maybe it ain’t working!” So we’re laughing and I was telling him that I’ve been feeling fine, my appetite is back and things don’t smell so intensely anymore, when my results came back and my levels were still too low…..AGAIN.  This time they had risen to 1.4.  Another injection? Oh OK.  Take some more Levaquin?  OK.  So yall want me to come back tomorrow?!  Oh OK!  “Can I sign up for a reserved parking spot?!”  Geesh!  I spoke to my oncologist after this and he said that he was still pleased with how my body has responded overall to the treatments.  Me too.  I returned on Wednesday, January 9 and was pretty certain in my own mind that my levels would be fine and I wouldn’t have to come back until next week until the nurse came to me and said, “Someone hasn’t been resting…”, as he prepared to give me ANOTHER injection of Neupogen.  “Who me?  Are you serious?  No way!”   My tone increased.  I know….I was guilty.  I’m tryin though.  Everyone in the room knew my levels were low cause I just couldn’t restrain my disbelief!  (This was the first time that I had to be checked three days in a row.)  So, I got another injection and had to take more Levaquin and return the next day.  (I decided early on before I had my first surgery back in August of last year that I really had to be flexible with my time so I'm used to shuffling [did I spell that right?] my schedule.)  My levels had only risen to 1.7.  'Surely, after having gone Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week to check my levels, they would not be low when I returned today', I thought.  Uhm….not true.  Yes, my white blood cell count has been gradually increasing all week, but they were still low at 2.3 when I returned.  Yup…..ANOTHER INJECTION!!!!!  OK…I HEAR YALL LOUD AND CLEAR!  (I’m gonna rest for real this time, but I think the Levaquin is making me feel kinda faint in the evenings and it takes me longer to overcome this feeling and it disturbs my sleep.  Oh, I don’t have to take it tonight?  DEAL!)  I’m gonna take the day off from work on tomorrow and stay home and REST! 

On to ROUND FOUR!!!!! 

Thank you - Judy, Monica, Linda, Jennifer, Elizabeth, Joyce, Marvin, Howard and Nicole, Shirley, Lois, Cheryl M., Sara, Pooh..