January 14, 2008 - Where shall I start?  Ah, yes...I went in for my normal blood count test...nothing unusual about this.  I was sitting in the waiting area, expecting to be acknowledged so that my blood could be drawn, when the pharmacist comes to me and tells me that they have not received my referral from my primary doctor.  She tells me that she's called my primary doctor's office and left messages to get the referral and that my blood test and my chemo treatment would not be covered without the referral.  I could feel my heartbeat accelerate and I imagined that steam came from my ears.  OK.  I told her that I had already made the request last week and that I had spoken to someone and they told me that they would send it over so that there would be no delays in my coverage.  (Now, it's easy to assume that because I am still insured and have been receiving treatments that this would not be an issue, but so not true.  I had to change insurance carriers this year and for economical reasons I remained with an HMO.  I've tried a PPO before and was quite pleased with the ease in seeing the doctors of my choice without obtaining a referral, but I also had surgery this particular year (2003) and it was a nightmare for me once I started receiving the bills and explanations of benefits for my share of the payments.  I had to create a spreadsheet to help me figure out who I actually owed payments to because I received services from doctors with whom I didn't particularly know.....very confusing....it took me some time to organize it all. So, in any case, an HMO, while much more of a hastle as far as getting referrals and making sure that doctors are within particular groups, etc. is the best option for me considering the fact that I may have reconstructive surgery this year.)  Anyway, the pharmacist told me that if I paid for the blood count test today that they would give me a refund once the referral was received.....no problem.  I decided to call my primary doctor's office while I was there because I thought that I had received assurance that the referral would be done, but I did not confirm that it WAS done.  Sooo, I called the office and spoke to the same person that I had spoken to on last week.  Although I was really bothered and in no way felt like speaking calmly, I was very polite as I explained AGAIN my need for a referral.  The person I spoke with told me that my oncologist did not accept my insurance.  I found this hard to believe since I made sure that I asked all of the doctors with whom I may use this year if they accepted this insurance AND I also checked online with my new carrier to make sure that these doctors were included.  The representative told me that they could not find my oncologist on my carrier's website so they could not provide the referral.  I was getting ticked off.  I really wanted to yell.  OK.  "So I guess it didn't make sense to call me to let me know, right?"  No, I never uttered these words....this was only what I was thinking.  The person asked me if there was a provider number available to look up my oncologist again.  I supplied the provider number that was given to me and shortly thereafter, my referral arrived!  Golly gee!  I am terribly grateful for the insurance that I have and there should really be no exceptions, but I am beginning to put insurance in the same room with Neupogen!  Nevertheless, I eventually had my blood test and my white blood cell count was just fine today at 4.5!  Yea!  I should be ready for my treatment on Thursday.

January 20, 2008 - I've been taking it easy lately.  I  recently decided that on the weeks in which I have treatments, I would not work on both Thursdays and Fridays, so that I can rest.  Even though I've been feeling fairly well, I've started to notice that my body is really tired.  Lately, I've realized that once I lie down to sleep that my body responds as if it's exhausted.  I have been sleeping very soundly and a few times I've caught myself snoring!  You know....you're sleeping so hard and you HEAR yourself snoring and you wake up, wondering WHO it is and its YOU! 

When I arrived for my treatment on last Thursday (January 17), my white blood cell count was low.  It was right at 2.0, so this time I received an injection of Neupogen AND I was also allowed to receive my chemo.  (Yea!  Who'da ever thought I'd be happy about being able to receive chemo?!)  I just had to return the next day to see where my levels were.  No problem.  When I returned on Friday, my levels were at 20, so they've rebounded quite nicely.   

January 28, 2008 - My white blood cell counts have been been the same story, just a different week.  Last Monday's (January 21) levels were low at 1.8 and they rebounded to 14 the next day.  Today's levels were low at 1.8 and hopefully tomorrow will be better.  I received Neupogen injections and had to take my Levaquin.  My chemo treatment went well.  I was pretty excited because I received (after pleading) a half dose of Benadryl and I only slept for about half of my time there.  (I was still pretty tired, but I felt like I had some control in the matter.)

Lately I have really started to forget a lot of stuff.  Some may call it normal aging, but for now, I'ma go with chemo brain.  The scary thing about it to me is that I don't remember that I've forgotten things.  (I know it sounds funny, but it's normal to remember that you've forgotten to do something like call a friend on their birthday or that you forgot to pick up your child from daycare.)  It's like certain things don't exist and even if they did exist, I don't necessarily remember that I've forgotten to remember.  My memory plate is being wiped clean and it's very random.  I'm forgetting obligations, dates....you name it.  Last week as I left work, I forgot where I parked my car.  Yea, this is pretty normal, but for me, at least I would have an idea of where I parked.  I had no clue!  I had gone out for lunch and parked on a different floor when I returned to work and that's normal, but I would usually park, say on the 6th or 7th level, or even the 8th, but as I approached the elevator bank, my mind went blank.  So, I started with  the 3rd floor, which in my mind would not be a floor I'd park on, but I had to start somewhere.  When I tell you that I had no idea where I parked, I HAD NO IDEA!  (The garage I park in has about 12 levels, I think.)  So, I wasn't parked on the 3rd floor.  I wasn't parked on the 4th, 5th or 6th levels.  Oookkayyy.   I wasn't on the 2nd level.  A nice lady who parked on the 10th level even allowed me ride with her as she drove down (I was tired y'all, so I hopped in her car with her ) and I STILL could not find my car!  So, after a while, I decided to try the 9th floor, which was my last try before I planned to go to ask the security for assistance and there I was.....parked on a different side which I would have never even considered looking.  What I'm trying to say is, if I've told you that I was gonna do something and I haven't and you know that I would normally keep my word, uhm....just know that either I thought I probably did it already or I forgot and probably won't remember that I forgot! 

January 29, 2008 - My white blood cell count was fine today (6.5), but my red blood cell levels were kinda low at 9.9.  Ten is the lower limit and 9.9, in my eyes, is really 10, so I'll have it checked again on thursday when I return for chemo. 

Thank you - Jerry, Tarshia, Lorine, Kim Ellis, Terri Carmona, Mr. & Mrs. Al Smith, Laurie, Jeffery, Valencia, Ms. Joyce Kirkpatrick