Yes, I changed the title to this page.....my intent was to share some things and then title it "Confessions", but once I started writing, it turned out to be something else.  My bad... 

1. I remember your kindness to me.

I would have thought that you would have moved on by now.....you know...to the next big thing.  You have been extremely generous with your love to me. You have called me to check on me.  You have given me cards, articles, magazines, books and other gifts. You have fed me.  You have given me advice.....you've given me your ear.  You have given me your money!  You have given me your time.  Oh my!  Thank you! (Matthew 25:35-40)

I have to tell you that in spite of everything that has gone on over the last several months in my life....especially in regard to my breast cancer journey, it has not been bad.  Sure, I have had several snags and some days have really been tough, but it's been an awesome experience and in so many ways I am transformed. 

2. It's been a joy for me to share with you and it's also been good for me to write (albeit online) again.

Speaking of writing.......I was just thinking to myself that if I were asked perhaps a year ago about sharing my personal story openly online, I'm certain I would have been opposed to doing it.....I'm very archaic (I'm a little slow) when it comes to certain technologies....I still have yet to send a text message and I still believe in hand written notes and cards.  I'm resistant to losing "personal touch".  Some may think it petty, but I love it when someone takes the time to personalize something to me..... 

OK.  I believe that everything is always as it should be at any moment. This is why I know I had to share my story…. Back in May of last year after I felt “the lump” I told myself that I would not frantically search the internet, looking for medical options because I realize that the internet, while full of information, can be used to support whatever I really wanted to do.  So, I only searched a "short while" for information on repeat lumpectomies and mastectomies.  As I searched, I don’t remember what sites I visited, but on one of the sites, I saw an ad or link for breastcancerstories.com and I told myself that I would “remember” the website and visit it later.  Well, a few months later, after pondering for the name of the site that I was sure to remember, it came to me.  Ahhh…. www.breastcancerstories.com   I visited the site and I read one story….Erika from Washington and although I initially thought that putting my story online was way out of my comfort zone, I decided that I would document my entire journey. I've been hooked since.  I mention this to note how grateful I am to have found this site.  It’s been quite therapeutic for me to share with you and it’s so 2008.  Ya know?  There are so many strong women on this site with stories to tell…...there’s lots of similarities in every story….some differences of course.  (Now that I'm slowing down, I'll be able to read all of the stories on this site!)  I’ve learned a lot and met some amazing people.  Thank you Wendy!  Yes I really do appreciate the intimacy of written script, but typing ain’t that bad either.

3.  I am aware that things could really be very different as well as more difficult.  So I have to mention that I am thankful to ^1.Be employed and  ^2.Have an employer who understands what I'm dealing with.  To Randy, Mark, Brenda, Annie, Mary, Cathy & Pam and the management of TEPPCO/Enterprise (as well as others) - THANK YOU!  The year 2007 was one in which my attendance at work was sparse...I was out for a few months after I had my daughter and I took additional time off with each surgery I had last year (I had 3) and I also took more time once I started my treatments.  (This doesn't include my vacation at the end of last year or the times I have to leave to get my blood tested or the numerous doctors visits I have!)  You never growled at me....  You never pitied me....you treated me the same.  In fact, you made it easier for me to return each time.  I so appreciate this.  To the WOMEN I work with -  I still remember your generosity towards me and will forever be grateful to you.  Before I could even consider what was ahead expense-wise, you rallied together on my behalf......WOW!   Your gift has helped tremendously!  The only thing I can say is, "I'm SOOOO glad that I never acted a fool in front of yall!"   (I'm kidding, but it is amazing to know who notices or even knows you and what people REALLY think of you!) 

I'm just sayin...

January 20, 2008