Well I am realizing that I need to heal. My body has been through a war. I have to let go of my feelings of guilt because my house isn't as clean as I would like it, my laundry is piling up, dinners are not that great and I am mentally and physically beat

I have been talking to other cancer survivors of my age on the YSC boards and I am not alone. Their stories are just like mine. Just because we look better doesn't mean we are better. That for me is the tough thing. People see me with my hair back and a smile on my face and its like nothing ever happened. Its very fresh in my mind. Lately I have been forcing myself out of bed to get the kids off to school, I can only do little bits of housework before I run out of energy, homework is not easy for me to deal with and planning meals makes me cry sometimes.

Some of the ladies who are ahead of me on the road to recovery said it took just as long to heal as it took to go through treatment. I am hoping around April or May to feel a difference.  My mind is driving me crazy! That could be the whole menopause experience as well. Who know's. I just need to stop making myself feel bad. I joined a women's bible study which starts next Thursday. It's called renewing the heart. This will be good for me. I will continue to document my journey. I can only hope that my story will help other young women who are newly diagnosed with this dreadful disease.

Love and hugs to all of you. Thank you for your support!