I have been feeling pretty good the last couple of days. I wondering if I would ever feel that way again? Of course its on and off for me but I think its my hormones. I still have discomfort from my surgeries. My range of motion is limited for now and everything is still settleing. I can't wait to have my final proceedure. Which is finishing my reconstruction. It is a bit wierd not having certain parts of your body when you are so use to seeing them

I am on day 2 of Weight Watchers. It is hard learning a new way of eating but I feel it will be worth it in the long run. I made a healthy chicken pot pie last night and lets just say my kids thought I was tortureing them I was so proud of myself because it was good! I also made this homemade veggie soup at least Jonny liked the broth without the veggies of course! They were so hungry last night because they didn't eat all of there dinner (just the chicken). It was ridiculous! So I gave them a baggy of carrots and some water! They just need to start eating better. Its for there own good. I will continue to make my healthy dinners and if they don't eat too bad. This past year has really put us off track. We ate out alot!

I actually went on a little ATV ride this morning. It was quite invigorating. Well it was like 30 degrees out I had fun and it felt good.

I am reading this book called "It's all about him" by Denise Jackson (her husband is Alan Jackson the country singer) her journey to faith is so inspirational. I love how she turned to God when times got rough in her life. I have learned some things from her. We have quite a bit in common on a personal level. I am learning to find myself and figure out what I like. I, like her have lived to completely please my husband. Don't get me wrong this is not a bad thing but when you find yourself making all decisions based on will he like this? or I better not get that because he doesn't like it and I don't even acknowledge what I want or like. My whole identity is about him. That is not a good thing. My husband has actually been more loving and admired me more since this newly found self confidence. This may not make sense to some of you and I'm not sure if I am explaining myself all that well but if you are like me or Denise you would know what I am talking about. Jon has done everything for me our whole life together. I have never even bought a car, an appliance, furniture or anthing big for that matter. I have never gone on a trip by myself until San Francisco for my cancer appointments. I can't even tell you how scared I was. I didn't know how to get a cab, get around the town or handle getting my hotel room. This may sound silly but Jon has always done everything for me! We have been together since we were teenagers. He takes great care of me and I love him for that but I need to be a bit more independant. What if something happened to him? God forbid but I wouldn't know what to do. That is a frightening thought.  It's a good biography and worth reading.

I am also really enjoying my bible study. What I am learning right now is to let God take control of my life. He knows what is best for me and what path I should be on. It sure is a relief and breath of fresh air when you surrender to him. How can his plan for you happen if you are fighting against what needs to take place.

Ok! Off to clean my house.