On February 3rd, I saw Katie for my last chemo session. I have to say, I was sick from the moment I stepped foot in the room and it stayed with me for about five days. For some reason, after the 3rd chemo, nausea became my middle name. Different smells, thinking about the room I receive the chemo in, poor Katie the nurse, or anything I related to chemo made me feel ill, even my bottles of water that I had to drink while I was there. I can’t even look at a Poland Springs bottle. There was lots of nausea but no constipation this time. It was pretty smooth sailing if you know what I mean. I owe a great thanks to Jacqui for recommending Emend, an alternative to one of the anti-nausea meds I’d been taking. Though I did have some nausea, I could live with it.

Since completing the chemo, I’ve been on a little bit of an emotional roller coaster. I’m so happy to be done chemo, but while I was there for my final visit, the subject of radiation came up. I thought the fact that I wasn’t going to need radiation had been established, when in fact it truly hadn’t. My pathology reports still needed to be sent over to the radiology department for their opinion. I waited a week for the decision, which would send my recovery time back another two-plus months. After learning last month that I needed to have one of my expanders replaced, which sets me back a few month in and of itself, the mere possibility of radiation lowered my moral to say the least. I felt like I was getting sick again, looked lousy, and had very low moral. Katie called me on Thursday saying that it was a no-go for radiation and everything changed that day. All of a sudden I felt great and I had high spirits. I was done with “cancer treatment” and now all I’m facing is reconstruction.

I’m ready. I’m ready to feel good, and I mean really good, not good “considering I’m going through chemo treatments”. I want to wake up feeling good again. I think by the end of the month my blood counts will go back up and stay up, so I won’t be so afraid to get sick again. It’s been tough on me having to stay away from large groups of people, or staying out of work during low blood count days. I’ll be done with that by the end of next week and everything should be back to normal soon. I hope to get back to work full-time within a few weeks. Then again I should be scheduled for my next surgery right around that time, oh well.

I’m not looking forward to having my expander replaced but I know it’s the first step to reconstruction and I am anxious to get that started. Again mixed emotions, but at least when that’s over with, I can look forward to the implants. That surgery won’t be as tough on me, and within a couple of weeks after that surgery, I should be feeling spectacular. No more tight-chestedness (I made up that word), or sleepless nights. Can’t wait to have periods of more than an hour of sleep at a whack. I wasn’t a good sleeper before all this, but now it’s ten times worst.

I’m gonna end now because we’re heading out to dinner with Sharon and Hugh. This is going to be our Valentine dinner because I have to stay away from crowds during the beginning of the week I’m dying to have a martini. Maybe next week I'll try one. I’ll stay in touch and keep you all posted on any updates. Happy Valentine’s Day!