Taxol 24/10/2006 Week 1
Hey first treatment today @ Gosford Hospital Cancer Care Clinic. Took the premed tablets last night and this morning and was a little stressed at the not knowing what this one would be like. Scared of the side effects and how it will make me feel a little teary. So had brekky and got on the road. Scott drove me today. Arrived and weighed in 89kg crap so over this fat thing. The nurses were lovely, they accessed my portacath it was easy and stung a little not much worse than a blood test  & started the treatment. They took it slower than normal as I was concerned that I would react to the chemo placitaxol as it is made from a tree bark. It took about 2.5 hours but would normally be only 1.5 hours. Scott & I went to Igguana's for lunch which was lovely to sit there and watch the water its beautiful blue makes me feel so alive. We then went home and I had a sleep, no sign of vomiting or nausea - just warm hot flushed face and funny furry metal tase in my mouth. I could not sleep so watched TV till late 11.30 and still couldnt nod off.
25/10/06 woke up early 5am had brekky & went back to sleep, up again at 9am and restless so went to westfield to had a coffee & looked at books at borders. Still feeling flushed & metalic tast in my mouth. Resting till I have to pick up the kids from school to get harry to the paediatrician for his ADD checkup.   
The next 5 treatments went fine with no major problems at all and I have been travelling alone fine.
28/11/2006 = Week 6 Started to go downhill this week. Hair started to go as well at first I thought the cats were sleeping on my pillow - silly ME! just my hair going again had bald patches and rather than walking around looking like unkle fester I shaved it again.

5/12/2006 = Now week 7: I have symptoms from the taxol of peripheral neuropathy = this means my finger tips are numb and it hurts to hold things this symptom seems to come and go and I have it in my feet although very mild.

12/12/2006 its week 8 and I am devising every reason in the world to stop this - I cant stand it any more I feel sicker and sicker every day each week I get that little bit worse. I hate going out and I avoid contact with humans who all tell me I look great ! what drugs are they on! For the last few weeks I have been having stomach pain so everyting I look at to eat seems hardly worthwhile eating -I am bloated in my tummy and my liver hurts. I get breathless when I go up and down stairs in our house and sleep alot cant work any more and that sucks coz the bills are pilling up. Have stopped going to church preffering to have quiet conversations with GOD in private. 
I feel so held back I just want to get on with life and forget this whole mess! And to top it off I weigh 91kgs blah blah blah!

Christmas & shopping is ahead of me !!!!!!

19/12/2006 = Managed to convince the oncologist that I had had enough so the plan is to have three doses next week and it will be over. /along with surgery to remove my ovaries some time next year and then treatment with a medication called an aromatase inhibitor that blocks any cell with eostrogen & progesterone and will hopefully prevent any new cancer cells thriving.

27/12/2006 = So I have had my last chemo a three weekly treatment and I have to have neulasta again so I know I will be sick but with a little help from other drugs I should survive it, its the day after boxing day

WEDNESDAY (christmas was fine spent with family). Chemo has taken three hours and I am feeling fine,

THURSDAY gave myself the neulasta, feeling really lousy watching DVD with the kids laura is looking after me,

FRIDAY pain from the neulasta is starting to hit so I drug myself up with panadiene forte.

SATURDAY getting sicker & weaker as the days go by, bad tummy pain spent most of the day on the loo, numbness is in all my fingers and soles of my feet, even around my mouth.

SUNDAY New Years Eve was going to work on the phones today - had a shower and that was all I could do it wiped me out, Im all hot and sweaty, very low my mind is playing games with me I feel like every one is so buisy with their own life Im a nuisance and to top it off every one is going out even Scott deserts me to spend NYE with friends, I spend new years eve alone and miserable.

Well Im not the life of the party am I who would want to be around me. Im bald, fat (90kg) grumpy and cranky and even my husband scott spends most of his time avoiding me - keeping himself very buisy - anything to not have to look at me and be reminded of how cancer ruins your life plans.  I am so over this complete tiredness.

1/1/2007 MONDAY worked today for 4 hours then slept and had dinner cant sleep so am writting while I have the time.

2007 resolution well my treatment is over all I have to do is get well now & live life to the max.