The rush of the holidays seems to be over.  I can truely say that I have had one of the best Christmas' in a very long time!  The time spent with my family is immeasurable!  The hugs, the smiles, the time spent with them was the best present I could receive.  The only thing better than time spent with them- was continuing to beat this cancer and remain cancer free.  That way I can continue to have those especially moments with the special people in my life!

I haven't written in a while.  We've been busy with the holidays, me returning to work part time and preparing for snowmobiling season- which doesn't seem to want to start!

Today was my 7th, 2nd to last, almost done, chemo treatment!  I had the 6th treatment on December 19th and had quite a little scare- or at least it was scary to me anyway.  Todd and I went in and I had the bloodwork and meetings with the nurses and what not.  I was told that my counts looked good- and I was doing very well.  By this piont- my eyebrows and eyelashes have seemed to hold on- as well as my arm hair.  They are getting thin mind you- but still there!  If I couldn've kept any hair on my body- it would be my eyebrows- and I seem to have gotten what I wanted.  Although- I did sport the "no eyebrow" look back in 4th grade when i shaved them off.  Don't ask me why... I did some weird things back-in-the day!
So Todd and I went out back to sit in my chemo chair and wait to be setup.  The nurse came back to let us know that my white blood cells- the ones that were to fight off colds and flus and whatnot, were borderline on low.  She didnt know if I would be able to have my treatment that day.  Tears started to well up in my eyes as I looked over to Todd.  He of course smiles his gorgeous smile and tells me that it will be okay.  She comes back after talking with my oncologist and tells me that its okay to start treatment! PPPhhhheeewwww... relief flushed over me!  She said that they wouldn't give me a Neulasta shot (to boost white blood cells which I was getting before)- b/c the pain associated with joints and such with that- would only compoud the muscle and joint aches and pain felt by Taxol.  They thought I'd be just fine without any help of a shot.
The treatment went good.  No Ativan needed this time as I was pretty relaxed and knew I wouldn't have an allergic reaction.  My mom came down- as she always does- and relieved Todd for a bit so he could do his Christmas shopping and bring us lunch!
While Todd and I sat there waiting (before my mom came)- a fellow chemo patient and her husband said hello on their way out after completing her session.  They both came back in and she put a small purple stone with the word "HOPE" written across it in my hand.  She gave me her stone and wished me well and to keep hope alive.  She brought me to tears.  To have a perfect stranger give you something so special is really quite moving.  What a beautiful woman she is and things like that only make you feel like being a better person.  Such a small gesture but such HUGE compassion and meaning.
Once Todd left after my mom got there- I took a picture of me and her. I was horrified by my double chin in the picture (I've gained nearly 20lbs thru this whole ordeal).  So I took another picture and we both held our chins to look more svelt while laughing at our sillyness.

That Thursday night I decided to get some cleaning done before the holiday weekend.  I knew we'd be gone for most of it- so wanted to return to a clean house.  Todd was gone that morning- I drove him down the airport so he could drive to Florida to pick up a car we had gotten from his sister.  They were to drive back up to NH that weekend.  Which would come to be a much greater task than anticipated.  Needless to say- Todd will not go anywhere near 30 miles south of Washington DC up to Connecticut. 
That night I cleaned up and then could feel the aches coming on.  I got what i wanted to achieve done and then sat in bed watching tv.  I fell asleep before 10:30 which was AMAZING as I find myself awake until midnight or later and waking up many times in the night.  The aches were starting to settle in- just like last time.
By friday morning I was in pain.  I started to take the Advil to curb some of the aches.  So there I lay- on the couch- all day- from 10am until 9:40pm watching the 2nd season of Desperate Housewives.  Todd and his sister didn't' make it back to NH until 5am.  Todd got home at 6am Saturday morning and found me sprawled out on the bed.  It was good to have him back!  The aches that seemed to be everywhere started to slowly subside- but didn't feel substantially better until Sunday.
I had aches down my legs, in my knees, in my wrists and ankles and in my back.  I avoided stairs as much as possible.  Needless to say- I didn't venture downstairs to do any laundry!  On top of these aches and pains- I had more tingling and numbness in my fingers- and now feet.  walking on my feet felt like I was walking on two stumps and found the numbness to be quite uncomfortable.  But again- I'd take this Taxol side effect over the AC side effect drugs anyday!

New Year's was nice!  We spent the weekend up north and then visited with my Dad on the way back home.  It snowed the whole time we were up there- but the snowmobile trails were still not opened.  This is definately crazy weather- and the businesses are hurting up there.  They need that white stuff and they need it now!  Todd and I are avid snowmobilers and it pains us to see the trails not open yet.  They unfortunately do not have enough snow and we just must wait... patiently...  I am happy to be able to get up there as I didn't think I'd be able to until after chemo.  I am happy to be able to spend time with Todd up there.  I do feel bad though- as I didn't want to miss out on the snowmobile season while undergoing chemo... so maybe thats why they don't have much up there.  Someone up there is waiting for me to finish up chemo before unleashing the snow and letting us all ride together!
When we got home- we did all we could to keep our eyes open to watch the ball drop.  By 12:01- we were going to bed.  Exciting stuff eh?!  We spent New Years day with Todd's family- enjoying a cookout- inside! 

The 7th treatment was today- WOOHOO!!!! ONE MORE TO GO!! I was nervous that my counts would be down again and I might not be able to have my chemo.  Todd - the optimist that he is- assured me that everything would be fine- and they were!  Ahhh... relieved!  I also found that my blood pressure had gone back down.  Mine is usually pretty low- 118/66 today- which made me feel good as the last treatment it was 138/96.  That alarmed me - but was probably due to the holiday buzz and stress of returning to work.
We sat in the chair and started the 2nd to last session.  You always here people snoring as many people nap during chemo.  We had two gentleman next to us who had started their own symphony.  One of the men's wives would look up from her book and smile at us when her husband would start up the baratone section.  We smiled and giggled.  I told her I too would join them soon!  The chemo went well- I came in at 9:45 and left at 3:00 or so.  The total chemo treatment took 4 hours.
On my way to the bathroom with my iv in tow- I heard my name be called from across the room.  It was one of my customers from work- a very very sweet lady who we have grown to share a lot in common.  She quickly came over to me and we gave a big hug.  I had talked to her on friday before we left for up north and told her we'd be going up.  She had told me that they wouldn't because her husband had the flu- and she was going thru chemo so wouldn't venture out in the cold.  First of all- it was ironic that last spring we found out that we would be neighbors up in the north country.  Out of all the places to stay- we have "realestate" right across from one another!  This time- we would learn that we both were undergoing chemotherapy, at the same facility with the same doctor.  She was even there having chemo done on the 19th of December.  She had walked by me with her iv to the bathroom and made a quick remark and a smile.  I hadn't recogonized her at the time- and neither did she of me as its not something you see everyday- someone you know at chemo.  She asked if I was wearing a hat and sitting across from the conference room... yes... yes.. that was me!  She had gone back to her chair that day and told her husband that there was a young girl having chemo... it was me come to find out!  So it is a VERY small world.. and we make these connections with people that are very special.. and a little bit freaky sometimes! When she told me- I got goosebumps.  We talked for a bit there and then in the waiting room while she waited to see our doctor.  She looked wonderful and was in good spirits.  Love the smiles!
On my way out I also saw the woman and her husband that gave me the HOPE stone.  I told her that I had it with me- and thanked her again.  She told me that she told that story in church and someone anonymously left a HOPE stone on her doorstep with some homemade cookies.  One good gesture- returned with another one.   You get to see the good in people during tough times.  And it is amazing the love and support that perfect strangers give each other.  There is such wonderful support- it brings me to tears!
So... chemo went good today- lots of napping. Hopefully I didnt snore.. or drool on myself!  I tend to do the latter.. but not as much as after I had my nose surgery in June of 2006 to fix my deviated septum and trim my turbinates.  I do have the occasional drool spot on the pillow... but hey... it just adds character- right ?!?!?

Todd was happy with the new wig that I had ordered thru a catalog.  He picked this one out - it was the only one he liked.  I got it in blonde- as he likes the blonde hair on me.  Its definaely a lot of fun to go from long straight brown hair to short curly blonde hair!  I've joked around that when my hair grows back- I'm gonna shave it off so I can continue to just wear my wigs :)!  I of course enjoy the wigs- but will enjoy my hair when it grows back in.  I have little stubblies that have come in on my head.  They are very light in most places.  I think Todd will get his wish- for Shannon to have blonde hair!  I'm curious to see how it grows back. I've heard- curly and thicker.  Gosh knows that my hair was thick enough to being with... so we'll just have to wait and see!

This Christmas I gave out some stress relievers to friends and family.  I work for a promotional advertising company- so it wasnt hard to get my hands on some pink ribbon stress relievers... and yes- boobie stress relievers.  I wrote on the backs of them "Save a Life, Squeeze A Boob"- and they were a huge success. One sits on my desk at home - and it is therapeutic to squeeze it- as hard as I want!  I have enclosed a picture of the one I gave my mom.  She purched it on the Christmas tree- and it was quite the addition.  We must remember how important it is to laugh! Laughter is one of the best medicines! 

And oh yes- I have returned to work part time on December 11th.  Felt weird being out of the loop for over 2 months. I felt like "the new girl".    My fellow co-workers welcomed me back with open arms and lots of hugs.  They gave me a beautiful gift and made me feel comfortable in the transition.  For right now the limited hours are just what I need.  I am able to have more of a "daily routine"- which I missed desperately and have the time I need to keep recooperating after the last couple of chemo sessions.  The aches and the sleepyness make it hard for me to be able to work a full day.  They have been absolutely fantastic thru this whole ordeal- and incredibly supportive!
Again- I am very blessed to work for and with the people I do!

Chemo is almost done.  Its very exciting and a little scary.  I think about not having this drug in me fighting off any cancer cells that might be lingering.  I think about it all being up to me and my own body to stay healthy.  Although I don't like to dwell on it- I think about reocurrances.  I think about preventative measures such as a double mastectomy.  I think about hysterectomies as I've been told that I have a large chance of getting ovarian cancer.  There are so many things to think about, and no easy decisions.  This will be a long journey- one in which will have many bumps- but hopefully no "lumps".  One that will be tough at times and rewarding at times.  I enjoy every day and live more now in the present.  Enjoying each moment spent with the people I love and care for.  Surrounding myself with positive thoughts and positive people.  Letting go of the worries as much as I can- which is hard because I am a self proclaimed "worry wart". 
I've asked Todd time and time again "When will I wake up and not have cancer be the first thing on my mind?"... the answer is- now!   I don't wake up thinking about it any longer.  I do think about it constantly mind you- but its not the FIRST thought in my head.  I have constant reminders of the cancer- be it aches in my chest where the cancer use to be, or the long scars from the removal of the tumor and my lymph nodes, to the port that sits in my right chest just under the skin.  These are constant reminders- and bring up many feelings inside. 
These scars are of a battle that I have won- and will continue to fight and win! I am proud of me- and proud of my "battle scars".  
Remember- Cancer is tough- but WE are tougher!