Last chemo is over.  Before that day came- I thought it would be VERY tough to be able to move past that.  I wouldn't have something fighting cancer in my body- and it was all up to me.  A VERY scary position to be in.
The last treatment came and I was feeling more confident about it- and quite happy!  It went without any trouble.  I met with the nurses and then with my oncologist.  He said how well I did and what were on track for next- radiation and then hormonal therapy.  I started in on my long list of questions and he answered what was relevant to me right now- but opted to hold off on the rest.  I was putting the cart before the horse.  I just want to know what the future holds for me.
So- we discussed radiation and then a little on the hormonal therapy.  There are two different drugs to be taken for hormonal therapy- depending on whether or not my cycle comes back.  I am young- so the likely hood of it coming back is much higher than if I was closer to natural menopausal age.
I can't tell you how excited I'll be the day that it comes back!! Never thought I'd say that- but here it is- in writing!!  I won't miss the hot flashes- thats for sure! We'll be driving in the truck and I'll take my hair off to let the heat escape.  Todd will look over at me and just smile. 
I wasn't sure we'd even be doing hormonal therapy because my tumor wasn't progesterone positive and was only slightly estrogen positive.  But any little bit lessens the recurrance- and thats what its all about!
So the last treatment went great.  I had Todd, my mom and my brother Travis with me.  Travis, my mom and I were doing cross word puzzles while Todd ran errands.  We joked and laughed so much I nearly pee'd my pants sitting in the chair.  We laughed so hard my stomach hurt.  The time flew by- and I was done!
The nurses gave me a pin which read "I DID IT!" I proudly wore it the rest of the day.  They also gave me big hugs and words of encouragement.  I will miss them thoroughly.  They were ALWAYS so sweet and ALWAYS so EXTREMELY helpful!  Tears started to run down my face as each of them gave me a hug.  They have made this horrible chemo a MUCH better experience! Never had I imagined that it would go this smoothly.   They made it a better experience!
I had made an appt to see my breast doctor- for the next day.  So many questions I had.  I was concerned about radiation affecting my chances of having a mastectomy if/when I was ready to make that decision.
Todd and I took the trip to Manchester to meet with her.  It was confimed that yes- radiation would affect the breast tissue in a way that can cause complications for a mastectomy later down the road.  Also- even after the radiation and hormonal therapy- I'm looking at a near 40% recurrance in the left breast and as high as 80% in the right.  With a double mastectomy - I'm down to 10% in both. (These percentages are what I remember off the top of my head).  Seems like a no-brainer- but still a lot to think about.
My life is more important than those two little (maybe not as little anymore b/c of my weight gain)- more important than keeping them.  They are two ticking time bombs is how I look at it now.  If I can cut my chances for recurrance down as much as I can- and have a better quality of life- then this is what I must do.
So at this point- I am working on talking with a plastic surgeon, my radiologist and my oncologist again.  I want to make sure I am as educated as possible on this decision.
I've got a list of questions for everyone.  It is pretty overwhelming- but must take it just one step at a time.  One foot in front of the other....

After my last chemo- I came down with a cold.  I spent the weekend bundled up on the couch blowing my nose.  I checked my temp every hour and found it went up a few degrees- but then subsided.  I called the oncology nurse to see what I could take to help with the runny nose and cough.  On top of the cold- I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the two nights before- so felt like I was punched in the face.  AND on top of that- I had the joint & muscle aches from the last Taxol.  So was feeling pretty miserable.  I was thankful I had that Friday off anyway b/c of the pains that come like clockwork after the Taxol.
Today I am feeling much better with some residual coughs here and there.  Boy- you really cherish good health when it leaves you- thats for sure!!
I can't wait to see how my body changes in the next few weeks after my last treatment.  I'll probably feel like a new woman! For years I had low energy levels and could fall asleep anywhere at anytime.  I had had blood tests but nothing had been found.  Come to find out- it was this cancer draining me of my precious life and energy.  I'm anxious to get back onto the treadmill and my snowmobile!  Winter seems to have just begun!
THINK SNOW and POSTIVE THOUGHTS :)!