What a whirlwind the last week has been!
Todd and I went up north for my last snowmobiling trip of the season.  I got in some good riding and haven't felt more comfortable and energetic on my sled before.  It was very therapeutic for the mind... and well the body- I'm feelin' it now!
We came home Sunday night to find a letter from Cigna that part of my surgery was denied.  They had denied the coverage of the Alloderm- deaming it investigational/experimental.  All else was covered- except this one part which could potentially cost me thousands of dollars.
I met with my plastic surgeon's office who has been dilligently fighting this since they had received word on the denial a week or more prior.  Never had they had such a problem before... figures... it had to be with me.  I joked at how they won't forget me... and how thick my file had gotten and I didn't even have the surgery yet!  They have been most helpful and doing everything within their means and more to help me out!
As of Monday- we had practically all of Cigna working on this, as well as the state commissioners office looking into it - and Senator Marsha Fuller Clark!
I just got some good news- I just got a call that Cigna has approved the Alloderm and I won't have to worry about this after my surgery.  I am very disappointed that this has come up b/c under state law- I am protected against such things as this- and that the patient has the right to the procedures chosen between her and her physician.  So to be told that I might to have to do tissue expanders, two surgeries, two periods out of work- not to mention all the emotional stress and preparation - was not an option!  This is what we had decided on - and this is what I was going to do- no matter who was paying for it!  It's not like- you can't have a Pepsi- will you settle for Coke... this was huge.  So needless to say - I am VERY relieved that this has gone thru- and is approved.  I'm hoping- as I have been told- that future legislature prevents this from happening again to someone else. 

So tomorrow is my surgery!  Off to the Elliot at 6:15 to have dye injected and pictures taken of my right breast.  From there they will find the sentinel node and do a biopsy of it- to be sure there are no cancer cells leaving that breast.  And as far as we know- there should be no cancer in it anyhow... all precaution.  Then I'll have the bilateral mastectomy.  The nipple & areola will be removed and the breast tissue as well.  Then the tear drop saline implants will be put in underneath the muscle and instead of the muscle being stretched down over the implant- a piece of Alloderm (donated skin) will be grafted on the bottom as to allow for less pain and less tension and less "smooshing" of the implant. 
I will have two JP drains (as I had one during my initial surgery for the lumpectomy/node dissections).  So we know how to work them.  I will be in the hospital for at least one night and hopefully can go home Friday. 
I've been giving a prescription for Betadine to wash with tonight and tomorrow morning... get all scrubby clean... as well as my pain meds.
I asked when I would be able to see my "new breasts" and I was told- the next day!  I would be able to shower and such the next day. 

So I am very excited-- but the nervousness is starting to weigh in a little more heavily- as its now tomorrow... not next month or next week.
Last night as we lay in bed- I felt an overwhelming urge to cry... that deep down gutteral cry... knowing that today is my last day with my real breasts, my real areolas, my real nipples... I've had them all my life and now they will be gone.
But as my mom wrote to me today "Just remember – boobs are not YOU.  They do not reflect nor represent the soul of YOU.  Your uniqueness.  Your caring and loving spirit.  Your quick and bright wit and intelligence.  Your warmth.  Boobs are boobs.  They do not make you a woman if you have them and they make you no less of a woman if you don’t have them.  They are not YOU. "

I am me... and am thankful everyday to be able to spend this time here with loved ones... that is what is most important...