I feel horrible today. I lost over half my hair yesterday and its made me quite emotional. I didn't think it would effect me this way. My hair is everywhere and I know its time to get rid of it but I just can't bring myself to do it. My head hurts, I feel sick and very tired. I just want to get it out. I can't be strong everyday. I know come Monday I will feel better.

Its real hard for me to take it easy and let my family fend for themselves even though they are doing ok. I guess that is the good to come of this. A more independant family. I worry about my house being a mess when people come over. Why do I worry about things that are so meaningless right now. I am fighting for my life. Its so silly.

I'm just having a bad day. I keep thinking about how I have to do this for 5 more months, THEN I have to have surgery which I'm not looking forward to. Maybe radiation a good year of being sick!

Ok I got it off my chest. I need to go pray now. Sorry for the downer entry. Its just how I feel right now. I already feel better just getting this off my chest.